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No longer walking small

Updated: Oct 12, 2023

Walking small. What does that mean?

When a person walks small they usually carry a limiting belief like, "I fear being heard or seen" or "I fear success." Carrying these beliefs can cause a person to self sabotage their goals, people please to those around them and tolerate when someone treats them badly or abuses them. On a deep subconscious level they believe that if they do stand tall they will just get hurt. This belief is usually formed by a past event where someone or something hurt them. It's heavy stuff.

I used to walk small. I sat back and let my older sister's boss me around, I accepted abuse from my ex husband and I changed myself to please those around me.

I did this because I feared being left alone. This went back to my mother being killed when I was 11 years old. That loss, that aloneness, was something I never wanted to feel again. So I walked small throughout my life.

I didn't gain anything. In fact I lost a lot. My self-esteem became non existent, my self-worth plummeted and I struggled with anxiety and depression.

Since then I have, mostly, turned this around. I say mostly because I see myself as an evolving work in progress. I have strong boundaries with those who normally walk all over me, I speak up for my beliefs and I value who I am as a human being.

I am worth the work I did. And so are you.

You might wonder how a person releases a limiting belief. The first step is to identify what limiting beliefs you carry. A limiting belief is something that you believe about yourself that holds you back. You might know some of them consciously. If you cut yourself down by saying, "I am a loser" or "I can't do anything right" those are limiting beliefs you have formed either from past events or someone else's programming of you. If you are repeating them to yourself you are consciously aware of them. You can do the surface work of changing your mindset and repeating positive affirmations to try and change your minds programming. That way of healing limiting beliefs can be helpful but I consider that surface work. I say surface work because on a deep subconscious level you can still be carrying the limiting belief because that is where they are carried. That means they are still guiding you in the decisions you make and the relationships you choose.

I personally didn't understand that my limiting beliefs were carried in my subconscious. Then I learned that our subconscious is always listening and recording all of the events in our lives. I also learned that a person's subconscious is very literal, like a young child, and all it wants to do is please your conscious self. If you keep telling yourself that you are a loser it will believe that that's what you want to be. It will then guide you to choose situations or relationships where you feeling like a loser plays out. Our subconscious is pretty powerful.

As I continued my training, learning about the subconscious mind, I became certified in Root Cause Therapy. RCT is a form of therapy where we use a combination of regression therapy and kinesiology to identify what limiting beliefs you carry and then go back to the root cause of those beliefs. Once at the root event stored emotions can be released and bring healing to that belief. I do believe RCT is a life changing therapy. I am so grateful I experienced it in my training. I was able to release my limiting beliefs and bring healing to my life.

If you would like to learn more about Root Cause Therapy and how it can bring you healing please book a Free Discovery Call with me on my website at No pressure. No commitment. ☺️ I look forward to chatting with you.


Janet Rhodes BA, NLPP, CTP, RC.t, EWC, EFL


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