Updated: Oct 31
As I enjoyed my morning coffee today, I started to think about limiting beliefs and how much they suck. I asked myself, which ones do I hold and how are they holding me back? This caused me to reflect and reevaluate my focus.
If you are not familiar with limiting beliefs, I will explain them to you. A limiting belief is a belief you carry about yourself or the world that is holding you back. These beliefs are formed due to events in your life and the impressions that they left upon you. Some limiting beliefs are:
I am alone
Life is hard
Money is evil
I am not worthy
I am stupid
It is not safe to be me
Relationships lead to pain
Jealousy/Control is love
Food is love
and so on...
Do any of this sound familiar?
There are tons of limiting beliefs out there and these can hold you back on an unconscious level. Our limiting beliefs can cause us to miss out on the things that we want most. What can you do about them?
The first step is to identify your negative beliefs and write them down. Determine what instilled this belief. This exploration may take you back to something someone said in passing or it could be a trauma that formed this belief. Whatever it is be gentle with yourself as you explore these beliefs.
For myself, I took a look at the limiting belief "Money is evil." I had not realized, until recently, that I held this belief. There were two events in my life that formed this. One, my ex financially abused me throughout our marriage. Money was used as a weapon to hurt me. My subconscious believed that money would continue to hurt me so as a result, I continued to put myself in situations that took money away from me, but this also left me in hardship. My other belief around money was formed in my childhood. My family was considered "working poor." We had just enough to make ends meet, most months, but it was hard. Despite that hardship, it was the happiest time in my life because it was a time when I did not question whether I was loved. I grew up in a family of five people. My dad, mum, myself, and my two older sisters. We may not have had many material things, but I knew I was loved.
When I was 11 years old, I was in a horrible car accident with my parents and my best friend. My mum was killed, and I almost died myself. It was a terrible time for me. My world became very dark and empty. My whole family suffered in their grief, and I was never quite sure if I was still loved. Grief can cause relationships to fall apart and that happened in my family. I realized, on a subconscious level, that I was trying to get back to my early childhood, where I felt loved, so I was creating circumstances that kept me poor. Releasing this limiting belief brought me such relief. I was able to realize that I am loved today even if I have money. I do not need to recreate my past. I am worthy and I am open to what life has to offer me.
The next step is to write down the opposite of your limiting belief. The opposite of "Money is evil" can be "Money helps me look after myself," "money helps me achieve my dreams" or "money flows easily to me." Then look for evidence of this new belief. It might be hard to do at first because you have carried the limiting belief deep within you, but it's important to make this shift. How does money look after you? One answer is money buys you food and pays for your shelter.
Once you have examined your limiting belief the last step is to create and use a positive affirmation. Positive affirmations help create new pathways in our thinking brain which creates new patterns of thinking. A positive affirmation about money could be "I remove all obstacles blocking my cash flow." Write down your positive affirmation(s) and post them/it in places you frequent, like around your bathroom mirror, on your fridge, in your car, or at your desk at work. Read it over a few times a day. This is how we change the thinking patterns that create our beliefs.
Now that we have dug deep into what limiting beliefs are I encourage you to dig deep into your own beliefs. Follow these steps and see what the world really has to offer you. You can do this. You are worthy of great things. If you need help releasing your limiting beliefs, send me a message. I would love to support you. I believe in you!
Janet Rhodes BA, CCTP, NLPP, RC.t